Hesitation
by Hullabuloo
Summary: Lily and James thought that 7th year would be hard. They just didn't expect it to be this hard! Will classes, Quidditch matches and other events will the two ever find a way to become friends or possibly something more?
1. Homecoming, Cars and Fights

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. ****

**Author's Notes:**This in response to Winter Witch's challenge in her profile. It's a little something like this:

1) Must be a James/Lily fic! 

2) Lily cannot be the perfect popular girl, and please keep the shy bookworms to a minimum! Make her different!  
3) Must be at Hogwarts!  
4) Dumbledore must be the headmaster  
5) Someone must make a sexual remark, not during a Quidditch match!, and someone else must respond to this remark by saying "Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt...and I think its in your size!"  
6) Remus and Sirius must play large parts!  
7) A Gryffindor MUST say: "Severus is lookin' sexy today!" in a serious context

Enough rambling from me. Let the story begin.

**Hesitation by Hullabloo**

_The time just passes by as I walk down the street and suddenly its time for me to leave this place again. Its time for me to return home and its time for me to forge my own path._

Lily Evans, witch and Hogwarts student was returning to her home after a long year at school. Sitting on the Hogwarts express Lily was scribbling in a notebook and mouthing words to herself. Never one to shy away from danger and never one to not find the situation humorous Lily Evans was one of the most original people in the whole school. She lives in a small village on the outskirts of London with her sister and parents. Deciding that this summer holidays was going to be different for many reasons. First of all Lily had finally found the courage to get herself home from Kings Cross Station for the first time and, so it was in a pair of orange bell-bottoms, a white tank top and a pair of big black sunglasses that Lily sat on the train to Millbrook. 

"Miss, can I please take your ticket?"

"Yes, here it is. Can you tell me how much longer till Millbrook station?"

"It's the next stop, so roughly five minutes. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"No, I'm right thank you."

"That trunk looks awfully heavy are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

With that the ticket collector walked out of the compartment muttering something about feminists thinking they could get their luggage down and having to fill out another incident report. Little did he know Lily had already gotten her trunk down with the help of a simple 'wingardium leviosa'.

Quickly packing up her notebook, swinging her bag onto her shoulder and grabbing the trunk, not forgetting Kitty, Lily exited the compartment and waited for the train to stop. 

Once on the platform she took a deep breath and made her way home for her first summer as a witch able to perform magic outside of school. Petunia wouldn't know what had hit her!!

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"I honestly wish that Mum and Dad had bought me that stupid car last year," grumbled a very hot and sweaty Lily.

"Hey Lils, wanna lift," yelled a passing driver.

"Merlin. James you really scared me. I didn't see you on the Millbrook train, how'd you get home so fast?"

"Lily, do I have to remind you every summer that my parents are a witch and wizard and we floo home? So do you want that lift?"

"Well, I don't think Mum would like me getting into the car with a boy who blew up our letterbox with wizard fireworks but ok."

After Lily was settled in the car there was a silence. Not an uncomfortable silence but a silence that seemed to indicate that there was nothing left to say and that these two people who acted so friendly really didn't want anything to do with each other.

"Thank you for the lift James. I really can manage from here. Careful, you'll break something. JAMES, DON'T YOU EVER LISTEN NOW LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!! I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HOME FIVE MINUTES AND YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED MY MOTHER'S GARDEN. Give me my trunk and go home. I'm sure that Sirius is waiting for you."

"You make it sound like we're lovers or something."

"Well aren't you? I mean you sure do spend a lot of time with each other and seem really close. Now shoo."

"For your information Lillian Evans me and Sirius are not lovers. Sirius and Remus though well you'll have to figure that out yourself."

And with that he stalked back to his car only to drive it across the street.

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	2. Deaths, Shopping and Remus

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. ****

A/N: Second chapter already. Remus and Sirius are yet to be introduced but I can't hold off for long. 

From his vantage point across the road James saw Lily walk out of her front door with two large trunks. She had tears running down her face, which really confused James, as she never showed any weakness. She returned to the house and five minutes later walked out with a shoulder bag and Kitty. Locking the door she jumped into her purple car and zoomed off down the street.

James jumped out of his tree and walked inside his own home where he was greeted by Sirius and his mother having a sombre conversation.

"I really feel for the poor girl. Getting back from your best friends house to find that your parents had just died in a car accident. I'm just glad it wasn't Voldemort that killed them."

"Who are you talking about Mum?"

"Didn't you know James? Lily's parents both died two days ago. Where have you been," questioned a very serious Sirius.

James just stared at his best friend. He didn't know what to say. Mr and Mrs Evans had lived across the road for all of his life. He had gone to school with Lily for his entire life, they were enemies to the extreme and here he was standing in his kitchen whilst her life was falling apart. 

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After leaving her childhood home for another day Lily had sped off to muggle London. She was going to Diagon Alley where she would set herself up for seventh year and deposit her inheritance. Maybe she would owl Dumbledore and ask if she could return to Hogwarts early. Yes that's what she would do and everything would be ok.

After hastily scribbling down a letter to Dumbledore, Lily left the owl office to pursue other activities. She replenished her potions stores, bought some new quills and looked through some dress robes before a return owl carrying two letters interrupted her. 

"Oh, hello sweetie. You have a few letters for me. Well let's see what they are then. My Hogwarts letter, that feels heavier this year and a letter from Dumbledore."

Opening the letters Lily was filled with apprehension. Her Hogwarts letter simply contained her booklist and another envelope. Opening that other envelope Lily almost fainted. She had been made Head Girl. After reading about her responsibilities Lily remembered that she still had yet to open Dumbledore's letter. 

_Miss Evans,_

_It would be wonderful to have you arrive at Hogwarts early this year. The train departs from platform 9 and ¾ every morning at 11am. I have noticed that you bought your car to London, can I suggest a simple shrinking charm along with a feather light spell and you may bring it with you. _

_Regards,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

"Excellent. Now to buy my books."

Heading over to Flourish and Botts, Lily bumped into someone she never would have thought of seeing this early at Diagon Alley.

"Lily Evans. How are you this fine day?"

"Peachy keen Remus. You?"

"Oh, well you know. A little bit off with out the others around during that time but otherwise perfectly fine. You don't look to great yourself what's up?"

"I'll tell you some other time. Right now I've got to get some books. I'll see ya round."

"Later Lily."

After quickly finding and paying for her books Lily pulled out her list and found that she need dress robes or a muggle style dress for a ball being held. Shuddering at the thought of having to dance with the Head Boy who she was sure would be someone awful. She made her way over to a fabric shop. There was no way that she would ever buy one a ready made robe when she could sew and had plenty of time to waste at Hogwarts waiting for term to start.

Picking out a few different fabrics and colours and purchasing all of them Lily left the store and Diagon Alley for her car. Shrinking everything to fit in the boot and then the car itself she walked back into the Leaky Cauldron for dinner and a nice bed. 

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	3. School, Friends and the Train

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: Chapters one and two have had a few errors fixed. I also thought that I'd let you know that if it seems I jump around a lot that's just my style of writing and I'm trying to make things more clear for you. Also I don't put in character descriptions because I personally like to imagine myself what the character looks like. I do however put in the odd clothing description, if you hadn't noticed. Onwards!!

If Lily thought that she was going to be spending carefree days at Hogwarts by herself she was wrong. There were plenty of things for her to do and she barely had any time at all to make that dress. Some how she managed and we next look in upon her last couple of days of freedom before she starts school again.

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Thursday August 30th 

The sun was streaming through the curtains that hung in Lily's dorm in Gryffindor giving the room a red tinge. Lying in the only occupied bed in the dorm was Lily, asleep, but not for long. The sun at that moment hit her right in the face and she knew that it was time to get up wether she liked it or not. Stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom in a sleepy state Lily grabbed some clothes and a towel. 

After using all the hot water to wash her hair Lily hopped out of the shower, towel dried her hair and dressed in the most outlandish outfit any of the Hogwarts' professors had ever seen. 

"Blue halter in place, white sunglasses on head. Purple skirt and white platforms on as well. Mascara… where is my mascara? There is it. Oops that wasn't right. There it is!" 

Taking a moment to layer her lashes Lily stopped talking to herself long enough to hear snickers coming from one of the paintings in the room. 

"Right. Well then. Off to breakfast I'm going. You see I actually get to eat unlike the paintings."

And with that she sauntered out of the room. 

I know that your thinking she got over her parents deaths quickly but the truth was that Lily was still cut up inside about them. This was just her way of dealing with things. She couldn't face telling any of her friends and for all she knew no one in the wizarding world knew either.

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After breakfast Lily quickly left the great hall to go and sit by the lake. It was sitting by this lake that she remembered one of her more notable fights with James Potter. It was by this lake that they had promised never to forget their friendship of many years and it was by this lake that James had told Lily her never wanted to speak to her again. So that was the way it was. Sure Lily had moved on, they both had. Though she still missed his company, his smile but most of all she missed the way he listened. 

Taking out her sketchbook Lily proceeded to finish what she had started on that train ride which seemed years ago. 

Not taking notice of the time Lily drew on and on until with a satisfied sigh she closed the book and walked slowly back to the castle. 

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_Friday August 31st_

"Oh my God. This room is a mess. I can't believe that I managed to get cuttings all over the floor."

It was in a flurry of chaos that Lily madly scrambled to hide her dress and clean the floor of any remnants of its making. 

She then moved onto making the dorm look like it normally did when no one had been in it before the opening feast. Smoothing the covers on her bed for the last time Lily sighed. It had been and long summer and today was just about to get longer. 

Professor Dumbledore keeping up the charade that Lily had not been at Hogwarts during the summer was having her floo to platform 9 and ¾ the next morning with a few of her personal belongings, such as her trademark shoulder bag and sketch pad. She would be there early and board the train as if nothing had happened all summer. As if she was returning from home and had just said good-bye to her parents.

Running into the great hall for dinner that evening she noticed something different. There were no house tables set out and the head table was not on its podium. To make matters even more confusing every single Professor was seated on the floor with a colourful mat underneath them. 

"It's quite alright Lily. The tables have been taken to be cleaned and have their spells redone. It happens every summer holidays and us teacher thought that this year it would be fitting to sit on the floor."

"No Albus. You decided that it would be nice to be on the floor. I however disagree. It just reminds me of muggle camping trips," announced Professor Cassell, potions teacher and head of Slytherin. 

"Well whatever. I really don't mind being reminded of where I come from Professor Dumbledore. Shall I pull up at mat?"

After one weird dinner Lily returned to the common room and collapsed on the couch. Falling into a deep sleep she dreamed many things, but remembered none of them.

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The next morning Lily got up and went through her usual routine. It was just slightly different she had to grab her shoulder bag and cat carrier before leaving the common room. After a quick breakfast in the hall she walked with Dumbledore up to his office. 

"Now Lily, as Head Girl there are a few things that you need to be aware of before boarding the train. You will be required to sit in the heads carriage at first but after a while feel free to move around. The prefects will come up to you at the beginning of the ride and you and the Head Boy will hand out a schedule of when they will patrol the corridors. Also inform them that the first prefect meeting will take place tomorrow night. I hope you have a safe journey and remember that you will need a cleaning charm once you step out of the chimney."

"Thank you Professor Dumbledore. I'll see you very soon."

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"God damn I hate floo powder. Hmm no one should be here yet. It's too early. Now for that cleaning charm. _SCOURGIFY!!_ That's better. I think I'll settle in that nice patch of sun right over there."

A couple of hours flew by in which Lily read, drew and even slept. She awoke with quite a while still to go before the train departed but thought she might scout out the Heads compartment. 

The Heads compartment was up the front of the train. It had very comfortable seats as Lily found out and there was no luggage rack. She placed her cat carrier down on one of the seats and put her shoulder bag down on another. Looking round she noticed that there was a little door off to the side. When she pulled it open it was like a tiny fridge had appeared. Taking out some pumpkin juice to sip on Lily sat back on a chair. Sighing she thought of who could be Head Boy. 

Would it be Remus Lupin? He was a prefect but then again he also was a Marauder. It might be Amos Diggory, but he was a typical Hufflepuff with not much for brains. Maybe it would be Jeff Simmons from Ravenclaw. He was smart and had excellent averages in all of his subjects. It could have been Severus Snape but he was just to plain greasy. Oh well it didn't really matter that much. She would just deal with whoever it happened to be.

Walking back out onto the platform searching for her friends Lily heard a familiar voice call out.

"Hey Evans. Have a good summer?"

It was Sirius Black. Oh god that meant James Potter was here. It also meant they'd ask her where she'd been all summer. Why hadn't she thought of this all before?

"Excellent Black. I trust your summer was full of fun filled antics…with James," commented Lily rather slyly. 

"Oh it was. I'm really worn out though. All that shagging can't be good for anyone," retorted Sirius.

Lily's face just fell. 

"I knew it. I knew you couldn't be just friends. Ha. Wait till I tell the girls."

"Tell us what?"

"Mel, Bel, Mil, how have you all been? How was your summer? Meet anyone new or interesting?"

"Good, good and no, does that answer all of your questions," queried Mil with a smirk.

"Yes. Now lets go. See ya Sirius. Don't let Jamsie touch you too much!!"

"What was that about? I thought they were all just friends," Mel enquired.

"Well that's what Potter says they are. But Sirius just said they'd been shagging all summer. Guess what? I've been made Head Girl."

"That means…"

"…We're off to the Heads compartment," they all squealed in unison.

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I suppose I really should introduce Lily's friends. I mean it only seems fair.

First of all there is her best friend in the entire world Millie, or Mil for short. Millie and Lily compliment each other very well. Millie has short blonde hair and hazel eyes. She is about the same height as Lily, which isn't saying much. She is a bit naïve and gullible but has the biggest heart. Like Lily she is smart and wants to be an Auror.

Next is Melinda. She is also short but with long brown hair and brown eyes. She tans really well which really annoys Lily who only burns. Mel is a bit of a ditz and has a tendency to be bitchy. However she is smart and her dream is to work as a historian.

Last but certainly not least is Ammabelle or Bel. Bel is the tallest out of the girls. She has black hair with a purple tinge to it and bright blue eyes. She rounds out the group as the sensible and caring one. She hangs with Mel a lot and can really hit a bludger around the Quidditch pitch. She dreams of marrying a man with lots of money so she can just play Quidditch all day, but that doesn't mean she isn't smart.

Now that you've met Lily's friends you might have discovered that they have a group name. That's right a group name. They are known only to a select few as the Four Black Cats. In time you will come to find out a bit about them but for the moment that will stay a secret like many other things.

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	4. Shocks, Pranks and Snape

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: My internet has been down for the past few days. I had to repost the story I muffed up the layout somehow. Italics are characters thoughts, they are normally written after a bit of speech by that character. They sort of follow on. You'll get the idea when you see it.

  
  


Lily and her friends descended from the train with arms linked. Making their way towards the carriages the girls all stopped to say a mantra before unlinking arms and grabbing a carriage.

"Mil, can you see that awful looking thing pulling the carriage?"

"Nup sorry Lils. Its not a good idea for the Head Girl to be seeing things now is it?"

"Ahhh. Evans," came an unwelcome voice.

"Potter. Nice to see you," spat Lily.

"Mil here is right you know. It's not a good idea for you to be seeing things. Especially when I'm Head Boy and don't want to have to be explaining why………Merlin. Why is it that whenever I let any female know I'm Head Boy they faint?"

"Oh, I don't know Potter. Maybe because you're a self centred bastard or maybe it's the fact that your head it twice the size of your body," said a very sarcastic Mil, "Now help me get her into the carriage you buffoon." _Where did that come from?_

The carriage ride was uneventful unless you count the fact that Lily finally came too and nearly passed out again when hearing that James Potter was indeed Head Boy. 

As seventh years they entered the Great Hall and sat down just before the first years were led in. Many of the girls got teary just looking at the hall and one Ravenclaw announced that she would never forget the way the hall looked for the first dinner. For the last time they listened to the Sorting Hat and for the last time they clapped in the new Gryffindors. As Dumbledore stood to make the last start of year speech they would hear Mil and Belle burst into tears and Mel looked at the floor. Lily however sat there in stony silence she didn't look at any one and never once uttered a word. 

"Good Evening. For some of you this is only the beginning for others it is the beginning of the end. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden to all students, yes that includes you Mr Black. Mr Flich would like me to remind you that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes and that a list of banned items, all 300 of them, is pinned to his door. Now before many of you fall out of your chairs and die from hunger I have five words for you. Home is where the heart is."

It was with these words that a bang erupted from the Slytherin table and Severus Snape started to sing a very tacky muggle love song. The Marauders had struck again but the Four Black Cats had yet to act. As usual Lily turned Snape back with a wave of her hand, if there was one thing the Four Black Cats couldn't stand was people picking on only one persona at a time, Mil shot the Marauders a dark look and whilst they were all distracted by this unusual, or so they thought, turn of events Belle and Mel said a few spells and turned the whole Slytherin table into a bunch of seagulls, the Ravenclaw table into a bunch of bats and the Hufflepuff table into a gaggle of geese. 

"Looks like they won again Prongs," stated Remus.

"Oh but were not finished yet Moony," smirked a very smug Padfoot.

With a crash the house banners came falling down and the words You Can Run But You Can't Hide formed. With a wave of her hand Lily quickly changed them into Beaten By A Bunch Of Girls Again, A Bit Sad Isn't It Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs?

"Damnit. How do they manage to do that? It takes us hours to prepare and all she does is sit there and it all happens."

"Clam down Sirius. Don't get so bloody worked up its just a prank."

"Just a prank, how can you say that James? How?"

"He is right Sirius it is just a prank and they beat us every year of course this year they had to go out with a bang."

Meanwhile………

"Since when can you do wandless magic Lils?"

"I dunno. I just did it. My wand is in the dorm and-" _Oh shit. My wand is in the dorm. I leave behind the most important thing I own can I get any stupider?_

"In the dorm? How did it get there?"

"It was in my bag and I totally forgot about it," smiled a nervous Lily.

"Right and Bob's my Uncle."

"I thought Bob was your Uncle," Mil remarked.

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Later that night the girls were sitting in the common room just talking about their holidays and things in general.

"Lily, your very quiet tonight. What's up? I mean we haven't had the usual James Potter and Sirius Black rant from the summer and there hasn't been one comment about your parents or Petunia."

Lily took off like a bat out of hell and ran up the stairs, she didn't want the girls to see her tears. 

"What did I say?"

"I dunno. Maybe Potter and Black did something really awful."

"Speaking of the devils. Look over there," pointed Belle.

"Oy. Potter, Black get your sorry arses over here."

"You called ladies?"

"Yeah what the hell did you do to Lily this summer?"

"We didn't-" started Sirius.

"-do much just the usual pranks. Why?"

"No reason. We'll be seeing you guys round. Later."

"What was that for Prongs?"

"Don't you get it Sirius? Lily hasn't told them about, well you know."

"Oh. I get it now."

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The next day everything was going along nicely, until breakfast that is. Lily and her friends walked into the Great Hall just in front of the Marauders. Mistake number one. Their conversation was overheard.

"So Lily what was up last night? You just ran off and didn't answer and when we went up to the dorms you were already asleep. Anything the matter?"

"Nup. Severus is lookin' sexy today!"

"What?!"

"Well can't you three see it the long black hair, the symmetrical face, the perfect complexion-"

"Not to mention he is a total idiot Evans. Look at that hooked nose and that slimy hair."

"I didn't ask for your opinion Potter. So sod off."

With that she stuck her nose in the air, spun on her heel and walked off in the other direction.

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A/N2: I know, I know. It's a short chapter but I'm going away for a week and I thought you might like it now instead of then. It might be a while between updates after that because I go back to high school and its my final four terms. I'm not looking forward to year 12 and the HSC, (leaving exams in NSW, AUS). So until the 11th see ya later.  
  



	5. Tiffs, Tears and Truths

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: I've started this before I go away because otherwise it would have taken heaps longer to get out. Actually that's probably a bit of a lie but who cares right? As long as I get it out. I should thank Smiley-Freak :D, Bombshell, one more interested bean and JamesFlower for all reviewing. I lost some of the reviews because I did something funny with my repost of chapters one and two. Anyways…

Seeing as it was the weekend the girls all decided that they would show each other their dress robes or muggle style dresses for the ball and then have nice long chat all to Lily's dismay. 

Before all tramping back up to the common room the girls went to the kitchens and got a rather large assortment of food and drink. 

"Mmmm, I just love chocolate cake."

"Nah, vanilla slice is the best."

"Sorry but both of you are wrong its strawberry ice-cream and don't deny it!"

"Will all three of you just shut up about what bloody dessert is the best!"

"Geez Lil, get a grip. Honestly you're holding out on us. Something happened over the summer I know it, and you know what's worst Potter and Black seem to know what's going on. Were your best friends, why won't you tell us?"

"Just leave it," said a very upset and angry Lily before storming off yet again.

In her towering fury Lily ran down the corridor and straight into Sirius.

"Ouch."

"Damnit Black. Can't I go anywhere without bumping into someone?"

"Well if you were looking where you were going…are you alright Lily? Come one things can't be that bad. Shh, it's alright let it all out."

"Sirius, I'm sorry I yelled at you, its just that I can't face them being gone. They're really gone. What am I do to? Petunia hates me so I can't live there after school. I can't go back to the village, I just can't. What am I to do," sobbed Lily.

"It's alright Lily. You can come live with me. I moved out of home a while ago and the Potters have been putting up with me ever since. But once we finish school I'm moving into this great flat in London that overlooks the Thames. You can come live with me and help pay the rent. Does that sound ok?"

"I suppose so. Can I trust you not to blab to anyone? Please don't tell my friends about my parents. I will in my own time."

"Sure Lily. Just remember that friends will always be there and so will I. That was a bit corny wasn't it? Oh well. Friends?"

"Friends. Thanks Sirius. I'll see you round. Bumblebee."

She climbed into the common room with Sirius right behind her. It was here that they parted ways with Lily climbing up the stairs and Sirius heading over to James and Remus.

"Where's Ratboy?"

"Dunno."

"Riveting conversation here."

"Well we're busy. Planning things and Remus is reading some book about stuff."

"I think I'll just disappear then. Sleep sounds nice right about now."

"What was that about Remus?"

"I think your best friend wanted to talk to you and if you noticed he did walk in with Lily."

"What? Why didn't I notice that? Actually don't answer that."

"Fine James. Just don't go making a big song and dance up there," called Remus to his retreating back, "Does that boy ever listen?"

Up in the boys' dorm Sirius was in the shower singing some muggle tune he learned over the summer. 

"SIRIUS. GET OUT OF THAT BLOODY SHOWER. NOW!"

"What? James I was trying to have a shower," said Sirius clad in a red Gryffindor towel.

"What was wrong with Lily? Why did you walked into the common room with her and why the hell are you having a shower in the middle of the day? Also why is your jumper all wet?"

"Lily was upset about stuff, which I'm not a liberty to tell. We walked into the common room together because we were walking together. My jumper is wet partly because she was crying on it and partly because it was sitting in a puddle on the bathroom floor and I am having a shower in the middle of the day because I felt like it. Satisfied?" 

"No. WHY THE HELL DID SHE TALK TO YOU AND NOT ME?"

"I DON'T THINK THEY HEARD YOU ALL THE WAY DOWN IN SLYTHERIN JAMES. DO YOU WANT TO YELL A BIT LOUDER?"

With that the door slammed open revelling a very angry looking Lily and a concerned Remus. James and Sirius turned towards the door and stared at Lily and Remus.

"Would both of you like to explain what the hell you are yelling about because I don't think we all quite understand in the tower," mused Lily.

"We were just-"

"James was just being his usual self. Nothing to worry about."

"Oh so you mean another lover's spat then? Sorry Sirius."

"Ok then. Well Lily it is the guys' dorm so would you mind leaving," stated Remus albeit very politely.

"I think I will be but make sure they don't scream down the tower and that there are no injuries at all. I trust you Remus and I trust Sirius, I just don't trust James."

"You too are both nutters, mainly you James. Picking a fight with you best friend. So what's the next prank?"

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After all this commotion Lily walked back over to the girl's staircase ready to ascend when all of a sudden she came to a stop.

What am I doing? There is no way that I can go up there. Actually there is a way…where there's a will there's a way.

She swung open the door to a room devoid of all human life. There were actually a few giggles coming from the bathroom, ok so there was all out spasms of laughter coming from there. Lily just went over to her bed and took out that trusty sketchbook. 

Sometime later the girls all came out of the bathroom to find Lily lying on her bed with all of her family photos out and in tears.

"Lily what's the matter," asked a very concerned Mil.

"Nothing," sniffed Lily.

"Right that's why you're in tears," remarked Mel.

"Mel, don't be so heartless, actually maybe it's alright to be heartless considering before," commented Bel trying to lighten the mood. She just made Lily cry even harder.

"Oh Gods Lil, I didn't mean anything by it. I swear I didn't."

By this stage all four girls where on Lily's bed and Mil had her arms around Lily.

"I've been holding out…something big happened over summer…"

"I knew it!"

"It wasn't anything that great Mel. My parents died."

"Oh Merlin."

"I don't know what to say Lil."

"It'll be fine Lils. Everything will be ok. You can stay at my house."

"I just want to get some sleep. Is that alright? Oh and sorry about before."

"Its fine now Lil. We know now you were upset and why you went off at us all. Don't worry about it," said Mil, looking at Mel and Bel for confirmation, " Now I think its time well all went to sleep. Remember tomorrow it another day."

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A/N: So Lily finally told her friends. What will happen next? Well even I don't know, we'll just have to see where the writing takes us. No L/J action yet I'm afraid, but sometime soon maybe!!


	6. Journals, Sneaks and Insight

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

A/N: I didn't know where to start this chapter but then I got some inspiration! Diary form for this one with a bit from everyone. 

It seems as if everything is falling down around me. The girls have been great but I find myself drawing away from them. We have all drifted apart a bit over the years and 'the event' was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. I find Mil and myself joining different groups often and in classes we aren't sitting with the others. As for Bel and Mel they seem quite content with limiting our friendship to the dorm and when they need something. I keep finding Mel and Bel in the middle of going through my things so I now lock my trunk and my diary whenever I leave the room. Mil has spoken to me about similar behaviour. I wonder if they are planning something or wether 'the slice incident' really got to them. Well that's all for now. Oh and Petunia has sent me papers to sign for the sale of the house. I think that I'll just sit on them for a while and she can sweat. No way is my parents' house being sold to pay for her wedding!

Lily

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I think that Lil and Mil are getting suspicious of our actions. Little do they know that we are just planning a surprise party for Lil's birthday. We can't tell Mil because she'll blab to Lil about it and then it would be ruined. I still can't find a way to get into Lil's trunk to see if she has a nice outfit but that's ok. Potter and Black might be able to help me there.

Mel

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I was just asked by Mel to break into Evans trunk so they could look through her clothes. I asked if this meant I would see if she had black underwear and Mel said no. I'll do it anyways. I know what she's looking for seeing as us Marauders are getting the refreshments. Should be fun!! A party is just what we all need; I can't believe that McGongall agreed to it!!

Later

James

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We just went through Lily-Billies trunk and there wasn't anything suitable to wear to a party in there. I wonder where her formal robes are? Oh well. I'll just have to make her something to wear and give it to her for her birthday. I'll get Mel to insist that she wears it under her robes that day. Good thing her birthday is on a Saturday! Mil doesn't have a clue and none of Gryffindor has spoilt the surprise.

Bel 

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It seems that all people are doing these days it scribbling in some sort of book. I think they will show them to their kids later on. Not my idea of quality family time. This is really stupid. James raves about how good it is to get out your feelings on something that can't talk back but I think its stupid.

Sirius

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I can't seem to think that Mel and Bel are planning something for Lil's birthday. This could be a problem, as she has nothing to wear. I might try and con Remus into taking me to Hogsmead later today. I really like him but there's something odd about him and I know Lily knows. Oh well. Its time for DADA so I better round up the troops. 

Mil

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Things are changing around here. Peter seems to be off a lot of the time and James is always writing in his journal. Sirius is dating another girl, the last one lasted two weeks. Bel and Mel are planning a surprise party for Lily's birthday. I really don't know what you get a girl for birthdays. Maybe James and Sirius will have some ideas but something tells me that their ideas may have to do with nickers and such so maybe I'll just ask Mil. Thinking of Mil, she seems to like me at the moment, which is really bad. I mean who wants to go out with a guy that disappears every month without fail because he is a werewolf? I know that Lily said Mil's not like that but I can't help but think that I'll never have a chance.

Remus

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I've been spending a lot of time in the library lately trying to get better marks in my subjects. It hasn't been working that well but I have come across a few interesting things. The Slytherins like talking about this Dark Lord who they say will clean up the Wizarding world. I don't like the sound of it but he is gaining power quickly they say. Dumbledore is the only one who he is afraid of. I'm thinking of joining up. Can you think of the glory and the power these Death Eaters and minions of this Dark Lord will receive? People will be terrified of us. It would be just like hanging around with Remus, James and Sirius but better.

Peter

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That's all I can think of writing for this chapter. It's just a bit of insight into each characters mind. I really think that I could have made most of them better especially Sirius, Mil, Bel and James but this story is really meant to be told in actions not in diary entries. Oh well. I hope this chapter really works for all of you and if there are any problems let me know and I'll revise it. Thanks a bunch!!

Hullabuloo


	7. Friendships, Memories and Kisses

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

A/n: In case you haven't read my bio… I've just started year 12, which is my last year of high school, and its really important as it decides what courses I can get into at Uni and seeing as I want law which is like the hardest to get into, I might not update as much as I would like too. Sorry, don't hit me or anything! 

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"Remus. Over here," shouted Mil waving her arms wildly.

"Hi Mil. What's up?"

"Hey. Nothing much. I was wondering if you could get me into Hogsmede so I could buy Lily a birthday present?"

"I suppose I could manage that, but it would be betraying a Marauder secret if I didn't go as well."

"Ok, well let's go!"

And so Millie and Remus went off to Hogsmede together. With Bel and Mel distancing themselves from Lily and Millie the afternoon found Lily in the company of James and Sirius.

"Hey Lily. Have you seen Remus?"

"Hey Sirius, Potter. I was just about to ask if you had seen Millie."

"Well I think they are probably together then."

"Really Potter, I wouldn't have thought so."

"You two break it up. Can't we just have one civil afternoon? Please?"

"Oh Sirius you know I can't resist those Puppy Dog eyes," said Lily falling into James' arms.

"Lily, I didn't know he had such an effect on you," laughed James.

"Well what can I say? I'm just the master of charm Prongs!"

With that Sirius' current girlfriend came around the corner seeing Lily being fawned over by not one but two guys, one of which was her boyfriend.

"Hey Evans, get you ugly hands off my boy!"

"Relax B, James and I are just playing around with Lils."

"Oh so she has a pet name does she? Well Sirius Black I won't-"

With that she was cut swiftly off by Lily screaming "That's disgusting Black" as Sirius snogged her (B that is).

"Come on Lils. Let's get away before they started going towards the broom closet," smirked James.

_Now Prongs that seems like a marvellous idea._

"Ok James, but on two conditions. One you explain to me why when we got here you started being so awful to me and two as long as we aren't here for a second longer."

"Your on Lily. Firstly the reason why I started being so awful was because my whole school life, before Hogwarts, I was always second to you. I thought that you were treading on my toes by coming here. I was jealous and then things spiralled out of control and when I realised that I still wanted you, err, your friendship I couldn't get it back. I'm really sorry about all that. Friends again?"

"Yeah friends. I still don't get why you felt threatened, I mean here am I this-"

"Lily, I thought we were dropping this?"

"Oh yeah oops. Sorry James," and with that Lily threw her arms around James.

_Mmmm, he smells really nice. Ahhh did I just think that?_

_She's hugging me. SHE'S hugging me! She's HUGGING me! She's hugging ME!!_

With that Lily stepped back awkwardly from James and they walked off towards the common room.

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"Remus how are we getting to Hogsmede?"

"Oh its easy. We end up in the Honeydukes basement!"

"I asked how we were getting there not where abouts we would end up!"

"We're going through the tunnel."

"Oh. WHAT TUNNEL?"

"Shh. That tunnel. See? Now let's go."

With that they stumbled down, through the tunnel and up the stairs through Honeydukes.

"Wow, we're really here."

"Yep. Now what are we getting Lily?"

"We?"

"Yes, we. I got us here so its your part to help me get a present."

"Ok then. Well we will get her something joint so it can be a bit better."

"Lovely."

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Lily was sitting in a chair by the fire when James caught up with her. 

"Hey"

"Hi James."

"Anything on your mind?"

"Not really. Just remembering happy times with my parents."

"Do you remember when we went to the local pool as families when we were really little…"

"And you didn't know what a turnstile was…"

"Whilst my Dad got really sunburnt and was like a lobster for a week!"

"Then Petunia fell into the pool and her makeup ran down her face!"

"And you and I laughed at her and then, well I think you remember."

"No James, I don't. I remember going home with your parents and Petunia being really angry that we laughed at her but that's all."

"We were like ten Lils. I'm sure kisses at ten are innocent and all."

"Oh God James. I had totally forgotten about that. You kissed me on the cheek and I slapped you. It was bloody hilarious!"

"Yeah for you maybe. Lily who was your first kiss?"

"James, I think you know perfectly well that I haven't been kissed."

"What?!"

"Who was yours?"

"Eva Parker from Ravenclaw."

"Oh, I've always hated her."

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"I think I better go. Remus is sick and I need to visit him."

"He's not sick James. I know that. He's in Hogsmede with… Oh god. Millie. The full moon. James we need Dumbledore. NOW!"

"Lily, how do you kn-"

"Just shut up James. Get Dumbledore. I'll get Millie. Just go."

With that Lily ran from the common room and up to the humpbacked witch. She slipped inside the hump and ran down the passageway. She could hear Millie screaming from inside and realised that Remus was transforming. 

She had to do something so without thinking she raised her hand and with a complicated wave sent Remus into a sleep like state. Banishing Millie to the common room she waited until Remus woke. Once he had she jumped backwards and led him out of the tunnel, through the school and down the Whomping Willow where she slide under the thrashing branches and pressed the knot. Scrambling through the hole she lured Remus down and into the Shrieking Shack, locked the door and then with another complicated wave of her hand disappeared. 

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It was with great fear for her life that James watched the scene unfold before his very eyes. He ran down to the willow and with a great fright saw something appear from thin air. Whilst running to the figure it collapsed. When James arrived at its side it was with great regret that he saw a long gash and blood pouring out of a head wound.

A/n: Sorry about the cliffhanger but it seemed like a good place to end.


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